Robo Cop

The speed zone: I was in it at 930am Day 4 Tue. I don't normally speed or even like to ride at high speed. But, on these long, flat out rides that go forever, I get into this zone. The biker and the machine sorta mesh, the motor and heartbeat almost feel in sync and you feel like a bullet. It's addictive, counter-intuitive, not me, but addictive. Maybe it was those two cups of coffee I had at the Best Western. I graduated from decaf. Figure I needed the extra caffeine to stay alert on the road.

Naturally I was surprised when Mr. Kansas State trooper pulled on my left lights-a-blazing, emphatically gesturing with his finger to pull over. The previous days I had seen maybe two troopers in 1000 miles. Where did he come from? (and later I would find they were everywhere on the highways). He was courteous, and surprisingly good looking (reminiscent of that cartoon character American Dad), with a chest that could crush walnuts. But as soon as I saw him I knew he didn't get the memo: "Cops, leave bikers alone!"

So as I tried talking my way out of this one, he staring with those Stepford Wives eyes all glazed, I knew it probably wasn't going to work. Why? Because he said he clocked me at 91mph in a 70mph zone. "I do have to explain sir that a mitigating circumstance is my broken speedometer. There is nothing out here, no other traffic to pace me. I was even at a Harley dealer here in this very great state of Kansas yesterday, before patronizing a hotel and bar/restaurant in said state, but they did not have the needed part to fix it." Papers, back to the patrol car, quiet waiting by the motorcycle, staring out to the fields, like a film. $175 tic. He did pace me afterwards so I could get a feel of what 70mph feels like. I didn't like it.

He then backed off. About 5 seconds later, I swear not much more than that, I look in my mirrors and I don't see him. I turn my head left then right. Where the heck did he go? He was gone in a flash. Vanished. And there's nothing out there but flat land forever in each and every direction. I swear these Kansas troopers have some invisible stealth technology we don't know about. Maybe they have underground silo bunkers where they hide and where they are cloned and programmed. This is a true story.

Anyway, it burns my butt to get tagged that way. I haven't gotten a ticket in about 20 years. And it slowed me down considerably since there were troopers out everywhere In KS and CO. I would see them hiding behind hills, in gullys, I even think I saw one dangling off some power lines. That was setback #1 on this day fine day. Later on there was another mishap that I will get into later because I just got to the hotel at 10pm got eat something and shower. My eyes are closing and guess what I'm doing early tomorrow?